Rough night last night excreting all the chemo. Up every half hour and peeing and pooping. Better in the morning but still short of breath. All I want to do is to curl up into bed and sleep.

Got most of my letter to Mother written last nght. Perhaps a little Nelsonian in tone, but it helped me get my thoughts together.

Not sure how I’m going to get through all of this!

After all the barrage of tests I now have some time to call my own. Had a good night’s sleep. It’s still weird waking up in the hospital — for the last couple of nights it felt like I was on the old Leopard — due of course to reading Desolation Island and I seemed to be in the role of Steven Maturin.

Now it’s time to wake up. I took a shower and they unhooked me from the tubes for a while. They’ll pump me with the first set of chemo drugs today so I’ll no doubt start to feel pretty bad.

Still have to call Mother today and break the news. Called Katy and we’ll set it up. Right now I am focusing day-to-day and doing the regimen. At the back of my mind, as always, is that this will not work and it’ll be time to call it quits. And I’ll be missing seeing Mi grow up and growing old with Mo.

Condition: lower jaw swollen, diarrhea diminishing, sore gullet from the endoscopy, otherwise pretty good.Show less