Bob is still in Brigham and Women’s with a fever. They are doing a number of tests to determine why, and it looks like he won’t be home by Wednesday as we originally expected. I think we all thought that once his WBC was in the normal range (as of yesterday) he’d fight the infection. He is on antibiotics but he hasn’t gotten any better.

The last couple of stays in the hospital have been hard on him – his spirit seems broken. His doctor said that the phase from the last round of chemo to baseline testing is often compared to initial diagnosis. During chemo you have treatment to focus on – now we worry and wonder about whether the treatment worked. It has already started to be a very emotional and anxious time. By the end of March Dana Farber will do baseline testing to determine if he is indeed cancer free – the start of remission. The next 6 weeks will be difficult but I am hoping that once Bob is home we’ll all be able to recover together. As one of his friends from work said – this sucks, but it will not suck forever.

Miranda also has a fever this week – hers broke out after Bob was admitted. They are comparing their temps – Miranda’s was over 103 last night and Bob’s reached 101.5. Next week she has winter vacation. It would be so nice if we all have a healthy week together.

Bob cancelled dial-up on his laptop – he was so sure he was finished with inpatient and now he’s lost interest. I’ll let you know if anything changes. I’m off to walk Diggy and then visit Bob for our Valentine’s hug and kiss!

Maureen

Maureen’s entry: Bob ran a temp of close to 102 last night. Dr. Jacobsen put him on antibiotics at Dana Farber in the morning – he will be admitted to Brigham and Women’s this afternoon. This is day 10 after the start of Round 4. He was admitted on day 10 the last time he had this chemo. This time we really thought he’d make it through recovery without being admitted. I expect him to come home by Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest.

Back at home and feeling pretty good. Thought I’d just pass on the following paragraphe juste from my bro:

This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall in the same week. It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog….

One more round of chemo due this evening and then I’m done, apart from my Neulasta shot Saturday evening, which is a recovery shot – i.e. an injection to help my recover from the chemo induced neutroprenia. I had a last intrathecal injection of methotrexate this morning from Dan Zuckerman, the oncology fellow. The intrathecal is the injection through the dura of the spinal cord into the cauda equina, so named because the jumble of nerves supposedly look like a horse’s mane. I should be going home Sunday morning, all being well. Folks here are confident that I am on the road to recovery. I had the option of going home Saturday evening but I feel happier to be spending one more night here. It’s going to be sad to say goodbye to all the nurses and PCAs and doctors who have been looking after me over the last few months.

I will probably not update the blog so frequently when I’m home recovering. There’s not not going to be so much to write about, but I will try to update it weekly until I’m back to work.

Rough night. The Cytarabine is not agreeing with my digestive system and I ran a temperature last night. Still, only a few more days to go, so I can take it.

Yesterday evening I did something that I think I’ve never done before – I watched a whole state of the union address on TV. Readers of this blog will already know I’m no fan of the shrub, but I felt I owed it to myself to hear what he had to say on healthcare; as it turned out, not a lot that we didn’t already know – he’s pushing HSAs and more tax breaks, and cutting back on Medicare, as the baby-boomers retire. For all his talk of bipartisan government, it seems as if this administration has already decided what the solution is. This one’s going the way of the social security reforms last year.

I loved some of the cutaway shots that they had for the state of the union. One in particular of Hilary looking smug, and ever so slightly shaking her head in obvious disagreement with something the shrub had said. I also felt bad for Samuel Alito; there were a couple of times where the camera caught him looking totally lost, gazing around the chamber, as if to say, “who are all these people and what have I gotten myself into?” Also, who was the guy dressed as Dr. Who in the back? All the men were dressed in standard tailored dark suits, varying only slightly in shades of grayness and color of tie, except for this one guy who had on a brown jacket and a striped scarf wrapped around his neck.

Last night was Miranda’s band concert and Mo tells me it went well. The scheme of listening in on it via cell phone did not go so well, however. Even though Maureen was sitting near the front of the auditorium, the microphone of a cell phone is not designed to pick up sounds from more than a few inches away. From my end it sounded like the sound was coming through a very cheap short wave radio that someone kept tuning in and out. In the end, I had to hang up. I hope I can catch the concert later this month on the Comcast local channel.

[later]

I hear that there is still no word on the Volpe Center contract award, and that it may not come for another month. This is just another area of uncertainty to deal with in the coming months. If I return to work and my old bosses are no longer there, then I can’t just slide back into my old job. I probably can’t do that anyway. I have no idea at this time when I’ll feel fit and energetic enough to get back to work, maybe April, likely later. I’ll have to play it by ear, I suppose with the advice of my doctors. I’m not sure that I want to work part time as a way of slipping back into work; this may be difficult to do anyway and still retain my disability benefits. Also, Parkinson’s Law (work expands to fill time available) would almost certainly mean that I’d end up working more than I planned. It’ll be strange getting back to work, but I expect that after a few days it’ll feel like I’ve never been away. I miss you guys at work!