The blog finds me hanging out in the infusion ward at Dana Farber at about 3:30 pm. So far I’ve had my blood draw, some pre-meds, and am almost through my big bag of Rituxan. I’m now being infused at the maximum rate of 400 ml/hr. I’ve had no adverse side-effects to this drug which I know is not the case with everyone. Still to come: my spinal tap and intrathecal injections, plus CHOP (actually, I’m not getting the Prednisone, but I’m getting the other stuff). Chris, my nurse, is estimating that I’ll be out of here by 5:30, but that’s assuming that my IT, which has to be delivered by Dr. Jacobsen or Dr. Zuckerman takes place with no delay. (I actually got out at 6:15)

I’m happy to be starting in on the last two rounds of chemo. I’ll know better about how the lymphoma is responding after they analyze my spinal fluid, but I’ve been doing well up until now. I am more fortunate than many people, in that I have a very supportive family and circle of friends and neighbors. I especially want to say thanks to all those neighbors who have been bringing in cooked meals to Bradley Lane. With Mo’s schedule being dictated by my appointments at the hospital, having home-cooked meals on hand has been a great boon!

Touch wood, I have had no complications with my disease so far. Some of my room mates have had multiple problems and their quality of life has suffered as a result. I am not sure how well I would do if I also had heart disease or brain damage, or any other of a host of possible complications.

Driving in this morning, and looking at the grim hard frozen snow-covered landscape, it seems difficult to believe that Spring will ever come. There’s certainly a few good weeks of Winter left in New England. But Winter *will* give way to Spring, and my chemotherapy will also come to an end and give way to recuperation. In both cases there is nothing I can do but wait it out and get on with life

This my last day off before chemo starts again tomorrow. It’s snowing here in Stow and the world outside looks pretty uninviting. The ground is frozen and the sky is overcast. (California’s sounding pretty good, John!). Nevertheless, Mo is out walking Diggory in the town forest, along with Maisie (Liz’s Wheaten), and Riley (Annette’s Yellow Lab). Yesterday she walked with Iona (Martha and James’s Airedale Terrier). She can’t walk with both Maisie and Iona because they don’t get along! I remember the last walk I took with Diggory, back in early November. Miranda came with me that time, and we did the white trail – the short loop. I’m looking forward to doing some more walks with Diggory after the chemo is over and I start to get my strength back. Last year I did a lot of snow-shoeing in the town forest after the snow falls, and then later, would take out my cross-country skis and inexpertly navigate the trails. Often, Miranda would join me using Mo’s skis, and she got her first taste of the fun of sliding down the gentle slopes. This last Friday, Miranda got her first proper downhill skiing lesson at Nashoba. She’s in the beginner’s class so did not actually do much skiing; she just practiced different positions of the skis. Still – if you’re going to live in New England, one might as well learn how to enjoy the winter.

Miranda went to the annual girl-scouts father/daughter square dance last night, with her friend Jillian, and her Mom, Mary. (Jillian’s father, John, is in California for his new job.) Miranda slept over at Jillian’s house last night, so I have yet to hear how it went. Uncle Martin is lucky that he’s not showing up until tomorrow, otherwise I think he’d have been roped in! The square dance has been a fun Stow social event over the years, but not without event. A couple of years ago there was a point where we all formed a big circle, holding hands father-daughter-father-daughter; the caller handed down the microphone to one of the fathers; unfortunately the microphone was not properly grounded, and an electric shock traveled through the circle, each person in the circle getting shocked and twitching a fraction of a second before the next person. Amusing, but not to be repeated.

The opening salvo for what could become an insurance battle has begun. Not sure how much of a problem it’s going to be yet, but I sent off my first letter to Aetna yesterday contesting their decision not to honor a claim for reimbursement of oral surgery on the grounds that I needed pre-authorization from my Primary Care Physician. I think this one’s going to be OK, but I must say I am not looking forward to having to sort out future bills and denials of service. Taxes are going to be more interesting this year – and even more so next year!

Enjoying the unfolding Abramoff scandal tremendously, and hoping for lots of indictments. On a related note, I see that Scooter Libby has landed a plum job as member of a Washington think-tank, the Hudson Institute so he’s back on the inside track again.

Spent a quiet day at home. My weight is slowly increasing, 163.8 pounds as of this morning (11 stone 9 pounds 13 oz, 74.5 kg. Pick your units). This is thanks to the calorie packing meals that I’m able to get at home, well cooked, and served up when I need them. Food service is one of the things that it’s hard for hospitals to get right. I wrote earlier about my dismay when I finally got an appetite in hospital and they cancelled my muffin because they were out of them. Another problem is hospital is the mere fact that food is served only three times a day. Typically breakfast would not show up until 9 am, at which time I would have been awake for two hours, craving a good cup of coffee and a pastry. If you’re in for a length of time, you can do a certain amount of food hoarding, but one can only drink so much Boost. Boiled eggs at the hospital, in particular, were diabolical — rubbery and green. A good book on nutrition for cancer patients is published by the NIH, “Eating Hints for Cancer Patients” For me, the most important thing is to eat food that I enjoy, and where possible enrich with extra calories, but don’t overdo it or else the food doesn’t taste right. It also helps if you can prepare the food yourself, because, as all cooks know, preparing food gives you an appetite. I do miss the short slurp of wine or dry sherry when I’m cooking though – no alcohol for me until this is all over.

Loosing weight has also affected my muscle tone. A few days ago my muscles were really stiff and painful. I walk around the house every now, as well as up and down the stairs, which gives some very mild but useful exercise. I have been thinking about using the treadmill in the basement, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I have some 3 lb weights however that I may be able to use. Muscle tone drops of very quickly when you’re laid up. A few days ago I was weak because I was anemic, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore. Frequent light exercise seems to be the thing.

Came back home last night. I hadn’t seen Miranda for several days so it was nice to be able to snuggle down in the couch and help her with her homework. She’s had to be more self-disciplined about doing her homework over the last few weeks since Mo and I have not always been there to encourage her, and in many ways, that’s no bad thing.

I now have a home infusion service from Apria who set me up with a pole and supplies for self-administering an antibiotic, Vancomycin, by infusion. The service comes with on-site instruction and, once you get over the initial hesitancy, it’s really quite easy to self-administer IV. There would seem to be adequate safety controls in place, and I must say that the nurse, Ginny, who came out last night was really helpful. I had not realized before that such services existed – what’s next? Home blood draws and analysis?

I see that Pat Robertson is again making crass statements, this time related to Sharon’s incipient demise. Pat is the right’s equivalent of Michael Moore – amusing, perhaps, but not to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, I suspect that there is a whole host of left-behind apocalyptic drones out there who have given up any measure of critical thinking and who hang on his every word. Please, those of you who are closer to the mainstream of religion in the US, tell me it ain’t so! I see the rapture index at www.raptureready.com hasn’t been updated in a few days, but the site is now advocating military strikes against Iran. That should bump it up a few points.

Still in hospital, with a 90% chance of getting out of here today. The doctors are still debating. One of the side effects of the chemo that is somewhat annoying is what’s called peripheral neuropathy This is a side effect of the Vincristine (aka Oncovin), and what it means for me is that I have a tingling in my finger tips, and more tingling in my feet. I don’t have a lot of independent motion in my toes. Fortunately I can still walk ok, and the effects are generally reversible during the course of several months following chemo. It’s not painful so much, but a bit annoying. My feet feel permanently cold.

More on the topic of religion in schools. I did not go to school in the US, so I stand corrected by Rick’s entry yesterday, that religious studies *can* be taught in US public schools. My question then becomes, so why aren’t they? My daughter is 6^th grade and at no time has she been taught anything about religion at our local public school. What are the major religions? What are their beliefs? What are the sacred texts? Love it or hate it, one must surely allow that an understanding of religion is an important part of a balanced education.

I am watching the events in Palestine and Israel with great interest. If Sharon is out of the picture who will pick up the olive branch? Surely not Netanyahu? Back in the early seventies I spent three months working on Kibbutz Erez, near the Gaza border. When I was there it was a relatively peaceful time. One day a friend and I went to Gaza, and I remember seeing the bullet holes in the buildings and being very aware of the Israeli patrols on the street. However, as I said, it was a relatively peaceful time, and I found the Palestinians very hospitable; they lost no opportunity to bemoan their occupation by Israel. This is something that we take for granted in the west — the right to self-determination. Now, I also think that the Palestinians have been idiots in the way that they have resisted the occupation, but an occupation it is, and I do not believe that anything can get settled until the Israeli withdrawal from the West Bank is complete. I’m not a big fan of Sharon, but I do applaud the withdrawal from Gaza and I hope that Palestine can reciprocate and demonstrate to Israel that it can be trusted.